Have you ever had a revealing conversation that changed your entire perspective? 
I recently had one with a friend of mine who is also a client. She said:
“More than anything I want a solid and sexy relationship with my man. But with all of the stimulation coming at us as fast as it does, how do we stay connected and real – from money, to sexual desires? My last relationship fell apart because I couldn’t figure this out, and I am an intelligent, successful woman. How do I make it better this time? Give me total honesty.”
Committed relationship – monogamy – is a beautiful thing, but it’s fair to ask: Is love enough? If you find that you’ve drifted apart as a couple, should you accept your relationship “as is” and simply settle? If things get stale, do you move on and see other people?
Newsflash: Monogamy can absolutely be H O T !
It isn’t inevitable that you and your man eventually devolve into roommates, or get stuck in a mother-and-son dance. (Sure, either scenario qualifies as monogamy, but who wants it that way?!) Here is the answer that I gave to my friend:
Darling, no man wants to have sex with his mother. Stop being one.
Here is why your last relationship didn’t make it through the ring of fire – and what you can expect in this one if you don’t change:
1. His hunter-warrior instinct will grow dull from simple under-use, and you will end up saddled with all of the decision-making responsibilities.
2. You will lose your innocence and sense of enchantment with one another, and hide instead behind the shell of a “hard-working woman.” Not surprisingly, he will seek soft, feminine enchantment elsewhere.
3. Your efforts to guide, help or “fix” him will leave you feeling drained and disappointed. Now you yourself won’t even have the hots for him!
Ask yourself which is more important: keeping everything stable and “as is,” or enjoying tender connection?
Start by handing the Responsibility Torch back to your man. As intelligent and capable as you are, allow him to make the decisions: where to make the reservations for your upcoming date night, the financial particulars of your next tropical vacation together – it’s his call.
Remember, too, that he isn’t a bird with a broken wing that needs fixing – he is a man that you respect and admire. And for Pete’s sake! Reveal the sweet, enchanted princess inside of you.
When you look up to your man with adoration and respect, he will grow confident and capable – and it is a confident, capable man who showers his woman with gifts, love and affection.*
*Provided that you are able to receive his love, that is. Think of your self as a vibrant, pink calla lily, open and ready to welcome in the bumble bee…or should I say “horny toad?!”
Go and create your own signature Hot Monogamy (Part I). Live a little!
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P.S. It’s always a pleasure to be a trusted guide on your journey. If you are a woman who can magnetize any man, but can’t seem to keep him, there is a root cause – and a root solution. Call me so we can discuss how you can break the cycle and create the tender, loving relationship you’ve been longing for.
